Why Many of Us Feel the Pull to Explore Spirituality As We Grow Older

I used to think that people were drawn to spirituality as they got older because of a fear of death. As a devout atheist when I was younger, I could not understand any other reason.

From where I stood then, spirituality seemed like something people reached for when certainty began to slip. A kind of comfort, perhaps even a way of easing what lay ahead. I believed that if we were rational enough and honest enough, we would not need it at all.

Then, in my fifties, my life changed in ways I had not planned for. I lost my job. My marriage ended. Alongside the very real grief and disruption of those experiences, something else appeared. A persistent pull towards something larger than my own individual life.

If I am honest, I think I had always sensed there was something more. It simply was not described well in the religions I was exposed to as a child, so I rejected the whole idea. It felt rigid and disconnected from lived experience, and so I dismissed it entirely.

When I reached my fifties, that certainty no longer held. There was a growing sense that there had to be more to life than the mundane, almost superficial way we often experience day to day. Life had become efficient and organised, but strangely hollow.

It was around then that I began to see life as something of a full circle.

As children, we are endlessly curious. We ask why and how without embarrassment. We are fascinated by existence itself. Then adulthood arrives and life fills up quickly. Responsibilities accumulate. Expectations take hold. Careers, relationships, families, and finances demand our attention. We get on with things.

Busyness becomes normal. Distraction becomes a way of managing everything that needs to be done.

Later in life, something changes again. Our children grow up, if we have them. Relationships do not always turn out as we hoped. Work no longer gives us the sense of purpose or identity it once did. And we come to the realisation, often without drama, that the life behind us is likely longer than the one ahead.

That is when the questions return.

Did I make the right choices?
What actually matters to me now?
How much of this was ever really in my control?

For many of us, this questioning does not arise from fear. It arises from perspective.

Why spirituality often becomes more important as we grow older

The pull to understand more eventually took me much further than I expected. It led me to the Himalayas, where I spent time living in a Buddhist monastery. It was not a search for answers in the usual sense. It felt more like responding to something that had been present for a long time, finally asking to be acknowledged.

Since then, I have practised Buddhism in my daily life. The teachings of Tibetan Buddhism are among the most profound I have encountered. They offer deep insight into suffering, impermanence, compassion, and the workings of the mind. They have shaped how I live and how I relate to others.

And yet, even within those teachings, I have sometimes found myself questioning whether something was still unaccounted for.

Not because they lack depth. They do not. But because the experience I was pointing towards did not seem to belong fully to any one tradition.

Over time, I began to notice the similarities that run through all religions and wisdom traditions. Beneath the doctrines, rituals, and language, there appears to be something shared. Something recognised rather than acquired.

Carl Jung believed that the second half of life was less about achievement and more about meaning. He saw later life not as a winding down, but as an invitation to turn inward, not to escape life, but to meet it more fully.

Perhaps spirituality does not sit comfortably inside religion at all.

Perhaps it is closer to a kind of knowing. Not something we adopt, but something we remember.

What spirituality really means in later life

One of the most helpful ways I have come to understand spirituality comes from reading Living an Inspired Life: Your Ultimate Calling by Wayne Dyer.

Dyer suggests that spirituality is not something we find outside of ourselves, but something we live from the inside out. He talks about being “in spirit”, or being inspired.

Inspiration, he explains, is not what we receive from what we do. It is what we bring to our actions.

In other words, spirituality is not about finding the right role, belief system, or practice that will finally make us feel complete. It is about the quality of awareness and attention we bring to whatever we are already doing.

When we are living in spirit, even ordinary activities can feel meaningful. Our task is not to chase inspiration, but to stay connected to what Dyer describes as our spiritual essence.

This idea appears again and again across disciplines. Even Abraham Maslow made it clear that fully realised human beings do not remain focused on material success alone. Beyond safety, achievement, and status lies a deeper need for meaning, connection, and transcendence.

Happiness, as a more stable state, comes not from accumulating more, but from aligning differently.

How spirituality shows up in everyday life as we age

So what does being in spirit actually mean?

Most of us have experienced it, even if we have never named it. It happens when we are fully absorbed in what we love doing. Time falls away. The constant inner commentary recedes.

If you are an artist, it may arise while painting or making. If music moves you, it may appear while listening or playing. Being with someone you love, walking in nature, or sitting without distraction can all bring moments where time feels irrelevant.

Thich Nhat Hanh reminded us that the most precious gift we can offer anyone is our presence.

From a religious perspective, many traditions speak less about doing and more about being. In Buddhism, we talk about Buddha nature, the innate capacity for wisdom and compassion that already exists within us. In Christianity, Jesus speaks repeatedly about love as the highest expression of spiritual life. Love your neighbour as yourself is not presented as a belief, but as a way of living.

Which brings me to what I now see as the simplest and most honest definition of spirituality.

Love.

When we are present and connected, there is very little room for hatred, resentment, or fear. Perhaps to be in spirit is simply to live from love as our primary state, towards ourselves, others, and life as it is.

Spirituality without religion or belief systems

If you are reading this and thinking, I do not believe in spirituality, that is okay. You do not need to adopt the word at all.

Another way of looking at this is through experience rather than belief.

Negative emotions and actions do not just harm those around us. They also shape our own experience of life. Chronic anger, bitterness, or fear create a smaller and harsher inner world.

On the other hand, people who are generally at peace tend to experience the world differently. This is not blind optimism. It is orientation. The inner state we live from colours everything we see.

It is not an accident that people who feel content often describe the world as kinder and more meaningful than those who feel constantly at odds with it.

Practical ways to live more spiritually as we grow older

As we age, many of the things that once motivated us no longer inspire us in the same way. Careers lose their shine. Accumulating possessions feels less satisfying. Constant activity can begin to feel empty rather than fulfilling.

When we allow spirituality, or awareness, or presence into our lives, our focus moves away from surface excitement towards something deeper and more sustaining.

This does not require dramatic change. It often begins with small, practical shifts in how we live day to day.

For example:

• Pay attention to what you consume
  Notice how certain television programmes, news, or online content affect your inner state.

• Practise mindfulness in ordinary moments
  This does not need to look like formal meditation. Simply noticing your breath, your body, or your surroundings while walking, cooking, or sitting can reconnect you with the present moment.

• Cultivate gratitude for what is already here
  Taking time to notice small, ordinary things gently shifts attention away from what feels lacking.

• Ask how you might be of service
  Turning attention away from constant self concern towards others often brings meaning that striving for personal fulfilment rarely delivers.

• Allow yourself to slow down
  Later life invites a pace that values depth, attention, and presence over productivity.

If this way of living resonates, I have created a simple, printable Mindful Habits guide that explores how small daily practices can gently shift how we experience our lives.

It is not about doing more or fixing yourself. It is about noticing where your attention goes, and how small changes can create more presence and ease.

You can download it freely, or read more about the thinking behind it in this related article.

A different way of thinking about ageing and spirituality

Perhaps this pull towards spirituality is not about fear of the end at all.

Perhaps it is about having the space and honesty to meet life more directly.

Not through answers or beliefs, but through awareness. Through curiosity. Through love.

If any of this resonates, you might pause with it for a moment. You do not need to label it or explain it. Just notice what is already present in your own experience.

Sometimes the most meaningful journeys do not begin with certainty, but with a willingness to pay attention.

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